


I'm in love with you. Sorry.

by leopardlynx



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, Implied Aromantic Character, M/M, Unrequited Love, knife shoes appreciation society
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 16:52:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15295902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leopardlynx/pseuds/leopardlynx
Summary: He’s out of breath now, at the end of his program, when adrenaline is fading away and there facade of a confident character is melting, leaving only Shoma. So with the last of his strength, the last spin, a quirk of his lips -“Sorry.”-but unlike his performances, he doesn’t stay for the applause, the scores, the reactions. He runs.





	I'm in love with you. Sorry.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [openframes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/openframes/gifts).



> smol lil drabble hope you enjoy  
> I love helpful criticism and comments! Obviously, this is a work of fiction and is not intended to be taken as the truth or a 'reenactment' of reality, even though the characters are real people. If you are in anyway offended by this fic please click the 'back' button on your screen. No need to pain yourself reading this.
> 
> ~~ 
> 
> for ladiesinlavender, my darling amazing wife

 

“So like I was saying to Keiji, I really like how they set up this sta-”

 

“I'm in love with you.” Shoma blurts out, and _oh god,_ this must be the first time in _years_ he spoke to Yuzuru without agonizing furiously over every word, airborne comma and syllable leaving his lips. It’s exhilarating, and when Yuzuru’s breath catches, eyes widening, elegant arms frozen as if Shoma had stolen all his movement; Shoma feels _proud_ . The only things that ever surprised Yuzuru is the ice and himself, and to stop Yuzuru mid sentence, catching him off guard, makes Shoma so _proud_.

 

It almost numbs the pain of seeing Yuzuru’s eyes completely devoid of hope or reciprocation, only shock and sorrow - frantic calculations of words for how he can graciously decline; Shoma knows Yuzuru prides himself of having impenetrable walls, calculated interviews and blinding smiles blurring words, but he doesn’t know that one long look at his eyes can tell you every emotion crossing his eyes.

 

Words are spilling out now, as if Yuzuru’s barely contained, shuddering breath brushed against the tipping point - and Shoma can’t stop.

 

“I’m in love with you, and no matter how many times I distract myself during the day and try to forget I can’t help but revisit every conversation, every smile that you give so easily before I sleep. And I know you’ll never feel that way about me, that every smile you give to everyone is the same even though my idiot mind wants to believe that I'm _different_ , that you’ll magically love someone and it’ll be me, because I’m selfish and _I am in love with you._ ”

 

He’s out of breath now, at the end of his program, when adrenaline is fading away and there facade of a confident character is melting, leaving only Shoma. So with the last of his strength, the last spin, a quirk of his lips -

 

“Sorry.”

 

-but unlike his performances, he doesn’t stay for the applause, the scores, the reactions. He runs.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Yuzuru watches Shoma Uno skating away from him, getting smaller and smaller. Shoma’s voice is ringing in his ears, normally soft and controlled but this time so painfully raw.

 

_“I'm in love with you.”_

 

 _“I'm_ **_in_ ** _love with you.”_ and not " _I love you_."

 

Yuzuru knows Shoma, even if his confession was sudden and unprepared; that he is always subconscious of his words. _In_ love. Yuzuru wonders if Shoma feels trapped being in love with him. If he didn’t say _I love you_ because he didn’t think he was in full control of his love. If he said ‘ _In love_ ” because he felt he had no control over himself, that being in love with Yuzuru wasn’t his choice, that he wanted to escape and love someone who would _-could-_ love him back. He wondered if Shoma wished he wasn’t in love with Yuzuru Hanyu.

 

Yuzuru clenches his fists, nails diggings crescent smiles into his palms. He looks down at his blades, at the ice below holding all his weight and his wandering thoughts, and wonders what it would feel like to love someone like Shoma Uno. 

**Author's Note:**

> come join our discord server! It's full of screaming about le skaters and positivity. https://discord.gg/pZgRGqb


End file.
